The First Time I Felt Insecure
I’ll never forget the first time I felt insecure.
I was nine years old—not even in middle school yet. Every movie, every magazine, every commercial told the same story: women should look a certain way.
Change this.
Fix that.
Try this diet.
Use this product.
Don’t smell. Don’t age. Don’t be hairy. Don’t be loud.
And for God’s sake—don’t be natural.
At nine years old, I didn’t know I wasn’t enough—until the world told me so.
Suddenly, I knew I didn’t look like the women in the movies or the ads. They were the ones who were happy, loved, chosen. And I wanted to be chosen too.
So I started chasing it. From the time I was ten until my late 30s, I was chasing “good enough.”
The Lie That Steals Our Worth
What I didn’t know then was that I wasn’t just chasing a feeling—I was being sold a lie.
The beauty industry created this insecurity on purpose.
Not only was it intentionally feeding women a false narrative that we aren’t enough—it was also pushing products that are detrimental to our health.
This isn’t accidental. It’s a business model.
One that profits from our shame.
From the time we are little girls, we are taught that beauty equals worth.
And when you believe that? You’ll buy anything to get closer to it. I know I did.
It led me into abusive relationships, toxic friendships, and worst of all, into treating myself like I wasn’t worth much. I used food, drugs, alcohol, diets, self-criticism—anything to escape who I was and get closer to who I thought I should be.
And because every woman around me was talking about diets, weight, and bodies, it felt normal. Like this was just the way it was supposed to be.
Waking Up
It wasn’t until my mid-30s—after my fourth baby, after building a life I should have been celebrating—that I finally paused and thought:
Why do I still feel so unworthy?
Here I was…
- A woman who had survived abuse
- Built a safe and loving marriage
- Was raising children with purpose
- Had overcome more than I ever thought possible
And still—because I was 60 pounds heavier—I felt broken.
The world told me I should have “bounced back.” That the best mothers are the ones who look untouched by motherhood at all. That stretch marks, tired eyes, and hormonal shifts meant failure.
That was the lie I had finally had enough of.
From Obsession to Nourishment
So I started asking better questions.
Not “How can I change myself?” but “How can I care for myself?”
Not “How can I be prettier?” but “How can I be healthier?”
I chose foods, thoughts, and products that honored my body—not punished it. I researched ingredients. I read studies. I unlearned decades of marketing lies. And what I discovered made me angry:
This was never about beauty.
It was always about control.
It was always about money.
I wasn’t broken—the culture was.
That realization changed everything. I let go of the obsession with appearances and built deeper roots: in motherhood, marriage, friendship, and in myself.
And eventually—I found a skincare ritual that aligned with this new way of life. One that was nourishing, safe, simple. It wasn’t about changing me. It was about supporting the real me.
So Much Good Was Born
When I found tallow, it changed everything.
I could use it on myself, my kids, my whole family without fear. I could throw out 100+ toxic beauty products that promised perfection but never delivered. I could stop supporting an industry that made me feel broken—and start supporting small farmers and my own wellness.
That’s when So Much Good was born.
I started making balms in my kitchen. What makes them “so good” isn’t what I add—it’s what I don’t.
I render the suet slowly. I don’t over-process it. I add only minimal, high-quality ingredients. Just what your skin needs. Nothing more.
And here’s the truth:
I sell tallow—but not because you need it to be enough. You already are enough.
I offer it for women who don’t want to make it themselves. Rendering tallow is messy and long, but the recipe is simple: a cup of tallow, a ¼ cup of olive oil. That’s it.
Even if you never buy from me at all—if you share this passion for women’s wellbeing, for radical self-acceptance, for transparency in wellness—you’re already part of this movement.
A Movement, Not a Product
This isn’t about skincare.
This is about healing.
It’s about undoing the damage that’s been done to generations of women. It’s about reclaiming conversations at the dinner table and shifting them from self-hate to self-honor.
It’s about telling the beauty industry:
We see through you.
We’re not buying it anymore.
We’re choosing something better.
We are not the sum of our flaws or the dollars we spend.
We are not problems to be fixed.
We are whole.
We are sacred.
We are enough.
Join Us
Even if you never buy a single balm, I hope this message resonates. I hope it sparks something in you the way it did in me.
I hope you join us in this movement—
To say: No more lies.
To say: We deserve better.
To say: We are reclaiming our worth—one choice, one product, one conversation at a time.
Because this isn’t just about tallow.
It’s about choosing truth.
Choosing healing.
Choosing SO MUCH GOOD.