Something heartbreaking is happening to our daughters—and most of us don’t even realize it.
By the time a girl turns 10, she’s already absorbed countless messages about beauty, worth, and what it means to be "enough."
And those messages? They're toxic.
The Stats Are Clear:
- 80% of 10-year-old girls have already been on a diet.
- Girls as young as 6 describe themselves as “too fat.”
- By age 10, many have already linked beauty to worthiness.
- 42% of girls in 1st to 3rd grade say they want to be thinner.
- By age 13, 53% of girls are unhappy with their bodies. By 17, it jumps to 78%.
- The average girl sees 400–600 ads per day — most focused on beauty, thinness, and perfection.
- 70% of girls say they get their idea of the "perfect body" from social media.
- Girls who use social media for 3+ hours/day are significantly more likely to experience body dissatisfaction and depression.
Let that sink in.
Before they even reach middle school, most girls already believe that:
- Being liked = being pretty
- Thin = good. Cellulite = bad.
- Wrinkles are shameful. Youth is everything.
- Skin problems mean you're not doing enough.
And who profits from this? The beauty industry.
A multi-billion dollar machine that thrives on our insecurities.
- The beauty industry is projected to hit $580+ billion by 2027.
- The anti-aging segment alone is worth over $60 billion.
It makes money by convincing us that natural things (like aging, skin texture, stretch marks, or body fat) are flaws that need to be fixed.
And our daughters are watching.
This pattern is powerfully explored in the book Muse: The Magnetism of Women Who Stop Abandoning Themselves by Amanda Hanson.
Hanson explains how most girls internalize messages about beauty and self-worth between the ages of 9 and 12. She breaks down how marketing and cultural conditioning shape the way women view themselves, their aging, and their value. This book is a must-read if you want to understand just how early the programming starts—and how to break free from it.
They Watch What You Do, Not Just What You Say
They see you pinch your stomach in the mirror. They hear you say "I feel so gross today." They notice when you obsess over wrinkles or talk about getting back to your "pre-baby body."
And they learn: "This is what it means to be a woman."
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
How to Rewrite the Script for the Next Generation
Here are five powerful ways to shift the narrative:
1. Speak about her body functionally, not just visually.
- "Your legs are strong."
- "Your arms help you hug people."
- "Your skin protects you."
2. Model self-nourishment, not self-criticism.
- Use clean products.
- Eat real food without guilt.
- Rest without apologizing.
3. Rethink your compliments.
- Instead of "you’re so pretty," say: "You’re so creative / kind / powerful."
- Or: "You’re beautiful because of who you are."
4. Teach media literacy.
- Ask: "What do you think that commercial is trying to sell you?"
- "Why do you think they only show perfect skin or thin bodies?"
5. Let her use skincare that tells a different story.
- Clean, natural, gentle. Not about fixing, but about nourishing.
Our Daughters Deserve a Better Definition of Beauty
Let’s raise daughters who:
- Know beauty isn’t something to earn
- Don’t believe their worth lives in their reflection
- Feel safe in their skin
Let’s show them that skincare can be about care, not correction. That beauty can be defined by wholeness, not flawlessness. That a woman can grow, age, change—and still be powerful.
And let’s remember: they don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to go first.
Start by showing her what that looks like.
Even while doing your makeup. Even while applying balm to your skin. Even while unlearning it all yourself.
Because when we stop abandoning ourselves—they notice. And they stop too.
Recommended Reading: Muse: The Magnetism of Women Who Stop Abandoning Themselves by Amanda Hanson — A beautiful and bold book that challenges everything we’ve been taught about beauty, aging, and our worth as women. If you’re raising daughters or trying to heal your own story, it’s a must-read.
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Tag another mom, friend, or daughter who needs to hear this.
And if you're ready to redefine beauty with skincare that nourishes — not corrects — shop So Much Good Tallow here.